today we went to dan's to test the sugar level in the grapes. first we picked, then we crushed, then we tested. this is just the beginning.
i want to badly to put together all the meaning and magic in this adventure. but, like life, it is still life. i am still in my other world-thoughts, i am working out my emotions distant. but dan's vineyard is my favorite place to be in all of san luis. i am more here than i used to be.
i keep asking, what is the L-RD doing? what is the L-RD doing? picking grapes led to no prophetic revelation. we just played in the grapevines. but, he's doing something. i know this from the things that i want: holiness, his presence, a home. i so consistently live in the dichotomy of hopes and actions, but i crave to be whole, to be righteous. i think this can only happen from touching the fringes of the holy spirit, and i have. and, he keeps coming back. i think this because for so many years i have loved rebellion. now that i am free to do what i please, i want to be under his wings, in his right. what will a year do? what will a year do? these new thoughts may take a year to transfer into action.
this goes through my mind almost everyday: he works all things together for my good. this is my hope for the season.
(these are pictures and i don't know how to move them. dan testing the sugar, johnny picking, the vines under nets, and me sipping sweet grape juice.)
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