i have lived in california for over a year now.

when my brother was just getting serious about painting, he used the same two colors all the time. hot pink, and cobalt blue. i remember one painting specifically. i remember when he painted it, when it hung on his wall, when it moved to michael's house and when, just last year after the snow storm cancelled my birthday we delivered it to a buyer right before our dinner.

it was cobalt blue, and in a bottom corner there was a pair of his dark-rimmed glasses, and a faint reflection of them behind. somewhere else on the canvas was the caption, scribbled: "what did i think these would do?"

i never understood the painting. what did you think what was going to do? what expectations could he have had for glasses?

six years later i'm living across the country from my family, from the little ones, wondering, "what did i think it was going to do?"