meditations/ zacchaeus

i wonder what it might be like to climb a tree just for the sake of his face. i wonder if he was climbing a tree both to see his face but also to hide. a man so despised isn't always welcomed into the salvation circle. men like to see salvation come to the helpless, not the thieves. he must have sensed the hunger in those hands and feet that climbed the tree. i wonder if, in walking by the tree, the depth of his soul responded to zacchaeus. as deep cries out to deep, come over for dinner. and aren't they one in the same? i am lonely L-RD. come dine with me. come buy food and drink, you who have no money. and we buy the food of the L-RD at no cost to ourselves. eat of me. eat my flesh, drink my blood. what a strange beginning to a religion. or, what a most obvious sign that he was in love. i love you, my church, my bride, come take all of me. eat of me. let me pour myself out for you. does not a mother do the same?

and then the part the moves me so deeply is that the holy one chose the hungry one and they dined together. zacchaeus ate up his love and the lovely one ate up his hunger. and they were both satisfied. and zacchaeus, i imagine, finally felt known, loved, accepted, seen. which is what i imagine it is like to look into his eyes. to melt with so much humility because it is impossible to be proud and to be loved. that amount of grace brings a person to his knees. and we stand so tall so often because no one is standing with us.

my favorite part: zacchaeus meets love and is moved by love. love does not allow him to stand still. and love this overwhelming compels a person to say, i'd do anything for you. i'd even give half of what i own to the needy. i'll even repay what i stole. i'll even be less so you can be more.

lower, still.

and for all of this, and so much more, i pray: come dine with me. i want to see your face.

and for all of this, i long for his invitation. to be the one he sees. to be the one he calls out. to be recognized in my hiding and to rest in his gaze. what beauty there is in salvation. what romance.