I want to look like you

I recently spent an evening being a trendy white person with my loving, caring, authentic, life-saving roommate who hardly fits any stereotype at all and makes me laugh everyday and is beyond good to me, watching TED talks. On this particular evening, we watched a talk about empathy. At one point, i heard something very interesting. Babies learn by empathy. We are soft wired. When we see tears, we cry. When we see laughter, we laugh. Babies learn everything by copying. Adults practice compassion through empathy.

This is something I liked hearing because I have often liked the idea of empathy.

And then tonight. I sat with a woman and she was beautiful but she was lost without a home. And we bowed our heads and asked Jesus for love, more love. And a home and a job. Because love, in this case, would look like a home and a job.

And I left frustrated. I left with so much longing. My heart is too small! I don't have enough empathy because I look at her and do not feel that her plight is my plight. More than that. Jesus why can't your glory presence fall on two women who need your love right there on the sidewalk on Osos street? Why can't your sweet Holy Spirit come like rushing waves and spread love?

And I left frustrated because Jesus, I want to look like you. And I thought, how well you have designed us, to learn by empathy? You have made me to look at you and then to act like you. And so I ran home, mumbling like the crazies. Jesus, I want to look like you. Jesus, I want to look like you. Father, give me your heart. Give me your heart. I need so much of your love so that everyone I meet knows your love too. That's what you looked like, Jesus. That's your heart, Father.

And I write this only so that someone else might think a little bigger too. Why can't love mean something meaningful? Why can't Jesus hang out on Osos street? And then I pray: Sing, O barren woman...Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. Give me new wine skins, O L-RD, that I might hold more of your new wine. I want to look like you.