spirit move, spirit move. we broke our fast and we feasted. wedding feasts with our bridegroom on the beach and in our homes and wine and champagne and chocolate and meats and cheese flowing. good things. ddc & i celebrated yesterday and then Breakthrough! the spirit moves through confession and honesty and he forgives and i want to learn how to too. It was good. There is life here. and today, sabbath rest on the beach with lizzy dear. the spirit moves & the spirit loves.

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the last time i was in california i was begging. i begged jesus to change the man i loved. change is heart so we can love each other. make it okay. graft your will around mine.

lately, there has been a deep shift. a deep submission. in this year of consecration i am learning to say, my emotions are below your thoughts. my emotions are not as important as your will. who i love or why or what i want does not matter. his said this is a year alone, so i am engaging in alone. and in the obedience, there is freedom. no need to worry about the future or my wants or conflict. there is simply a yes.

and in that, in the bending of my will to his. in the forgetting my wants for his. i am learning this, i want, above all, what he wants.

and that's becoming a fun prayer. Jesus, i don't care how i feel about this. just give me what you have.

the most tangible feeling of trust is growing in me. i know that he is good. i know that it will be good. i can give these heart feelings up for my year of alone because he is good and it will be good.

what joy in submission, in obedience, in the cross.